I haven’t attended a church service in over 30 years (excluding weddings and funerals), but I felt a random need to go this week. I’m not religious, but I appreciate the connection human beings feel within themselves and one another when connecting to something either higher then themselves, or higher within themselves. So many groups of people all searching for the same thing.
My next court date is March 24th. Each time a new court date comes up, I get a little sad and dark. I pray that justice will be served. Every time I hear that this case is not resolved properly, it feels like I am getting sued and violated all over again. So I felt like it would be a good idea to go to a church just for a little uplifting. I just had no idea which one I would want to go to.
Growing up my parents never made me go to church, so to rebel against them I became a born again Christian. I loved my church and Bible Study, but I was never down with denouncing other religions, which was part of the curriculum. As I started to become exposed to other religions, I decided I didn’t want to belong to just one, but would rather take the best of each. I became one of those “universe” people, and I still am. A couple days ago I was feeling quite sad, as I had an online argument about the new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue (She was against plus size models being on the cover, I was elated). It brought back memories of the day I realized I was being completely defamed on the internet. Anyway, I shouldn’t have engaged, but I did and I came across a little crazy pants. It mad me sad and triggered old memories of the early abuse that Chuck and The New York Post collectively put me through. Anyone who was around me two years ago knows it’s a pretty dark place for me.
Later that night, I was walking around in Bushwick. I saw this really cool event down the side street that had this great vibe to it. It looked like it was an art show. I was intrigued (especially since these things often have wine). It was a huge open space with a band setting up. I peeked my head in and a friendly woman came up to me.
“Hi how’s it going?”
“Great, is this a private event?”, I asked.
“No, it’s open to the public, anyone can come”.
“Great…what is it? An Art show? Concert?”
“It’s Church”, she said.
Good one, Universe.
The vibe in there was pretty fun. I explained to her that I wasn’t Christian, but would still like to check it out. She said that’s OK, we accept everyone here. She asked me about my spiritual belief’s. I told her I feel like I’m kind of nothing and everything at the same time. I feel like all the religions are “right” in a way, and that God to me is both male and female. She just listened and didn’t debate me at all, and was completely accepting. I accidentally cussed and said “Oh my God’ a few times… and then caught myself. But it was all good because swearing wasn’t frowned upon in this church, nor was the “OMG” statement.
“But you believe in something higher then yourself ?”, She asked.
“Absolutely”. I started to tear up a little bit.
“That’s all that matters. I can tell you need this right now”, she said.
And then I proceeded to cry on her shoulder for about 10 minutes. She prayed over my shoulder and prayed to Jesus and told me all the wonderful things I am going to do with my life. It was a beautiful moment.I told her that even though I am not Christian, I am totally down with JC and the true meaning of Christianity (which was displayed that night). Then she bought me the book they were selling that night. I ended up catching about an hour of the service. I then told her and a couple of onlookers how I got sued for $10,000,000 by a complete stranger and how it destroyed a good year of my life. They were shocked.
I left that service feeling very cleansed and recharged. This lawsuit that once felt like cancer, then just a bad rash, now just feels like an annoying zit that won’t pop. Thank you to c3 Brooklyn! That was a beautiful experience.