Much thanks to Morgan for inviting me to be a part of Fbomb this month at Arlene Grocery with The Who Tribute. I’ll be singing “Behind Blue Eyes’. very pumped to be a part of this.
I’m taking the stage next Saturday April 30th… If you are in New York, please come out!
That’s all the show information… keep reading if you want to hear the deep, personal stuff.
I ran into a friend after rehearsal last night that I hadn’t seen in a while. She is a brilliant singer who I worked with briefly as a backup singer in a regional band. For a while, we kept finding ourselves booked on all of the same gigs. It got surreal, to the point where she almost also signed to my old record label! I hadn’t seen her for a while… the first thing she said was congrats on getting some justice on that stupid lawsuit against me! LOL, it is pretty much the first thing anyone says to me when they see me… and most people haven’t seen me in a while.
Although I am very active online, I’ve been MIA for a while in the real world and there is a reason for that. When the lawsuit/media defamation was fresh… I went through some pretty intense psychological changes. Despite the absolute outpouring of love I received from the music community, I felt like isolating. I started becoming extra sensitive to crowds, developed extreme claustrophobia and social anxiety. Arelene’s has always been a home and a safe space for me… but I also had to avoid bars at night time and music venues for a while. I became hyper sensitive to everything… loud noises, people bumping into me… The first year in litigation I would drink wine in the day time and smoke more then I should. Never to the point of being drunk, but just enough to dull the pain of what I was going through… so that I couldn’t actually feel the pain of being known as the girl who was sued for being too “old and ugly” for her job. I sang at Fbomb a while back for the AC/DC Tribute. While I had a great time at the show, I was still suffering from symptoms of Acute Stress Disorder… I still felt very much emotionally disconnected from the world and I wasn’t quite “present”. Because of this, I eventually gave up two of the bands I was working in… Lavender Steel and The Fred Savages… because I had so much trauma to work through. I wasn’t able to show up for either band to the best of my professional abilities at the time. I needed to stop everything, hole up for a while and get better.
While my career as a studio vocalist has picked up in the last year, I haven’t been on stage very much… so I am very happy and excited to be a part of this and I am so grateful Morgan reached out! While I still want to move to Austin, I realize there is a tight supportive scene right here in my own backyard and I want to be a part of it again while I am still here.
Hope to see you all on Saturday!